The first out of 11 meetings

After our Orientation meeting, we had to pick an agency which I thought would be a cake walk, just pick one that is relatively close to you right???  WRONG, holy cow was I wrong.  I spent hours on the phone talking to different agencies and rating them.  Some made me feel guilty because I wanted to foster young (3 and under) little girls and I wanted more of a long term situation.  My guess for this is that they get this a lot and feel frustrated that they are not getting the type of Foster Parent that they are wanting so they were trying to push me into being what they needed me to be.  I can honestly say that at this point I was almost in tears and just about gave up.    I did not want to constantly have kids in and out of my home, I didn't think it was good for my kids or for me really.  Dan was great and helped talk me through a lot of this, reminded me that for us, things don't just go smoothly and easily.  We have to fight and keep looking for what we want.  So I did.  I didn't want to call this one agency called West Valley Child Crisis Center because in Utah anything that came out of West Valley City was just ghetto, but I was getting desperate so I called.  I talked to a lady named Ann.  She guessed right after I told her that I already had three boys that I was looking for a girl.  It took all of the guilt out of the situation for me, it is not an easy choice.  You start hearing about some of the stories and situations and you truly just want to help these children no matter who they are.  She was also very bold about how she strongly believed in permanency for the children and trying to be an advocate for the child, not the parent.  I know that sounds really harsh but before you judge just keep reading the blog, you will understand later what I mean.  I knew within a moment that this was our agency.  We set up our consultation meeting for that day and started our classes the day after.  Meeting with Ann was a great experience, we got a truck load of paperwork to begin on and got a feel for what we were in for.  I kind of wish that parents would have to go through the same process we are going through just to have their own kids.  I am betting all the people who are reading this blog would pass with flying colors, but there are really some people out there who should NOT be procreating!  We get a two page list of what we need to do, fill out and bring in.  That first Sunday I spent 4 hours filling out paper work and had just scraped the surface, not to mention the monstrous book they give us that I need to read.  At first I was like, right I am going to read that (in a very sarcastic tone)  but it is loaded with information that I NEED to know, so now I am just stuck LOL and have to read it.  I have been debating about whether to keep this strictly about my fostering experience or integrate my whole life into it, I still have not officially decided but I figured that I probably should give the whole experience and not just half.

Our first meeting also landed on my first day back to cosmetology school.  We felt like this was the best time to do the classes because the kiddos cannot come to any of these meeting and we have Celeste here and she is willing to take the kids for us at night.  It has been incredibly stressful and very overwhelming.  Our meetings are every Tuesday night from 6:30-9:30 for 11 weeks.  You cannot miss these meetings or you have to wait until the next round of classes to make it up, I think Dan is going to have to miss one in a few weeks because he will be out of town so that will hinder our licensing process and  put us back quite a bit but oh well, life happens.  Our first meeting was pretty much an orientation and just touching on a lot of beginning topics.  They talk a lot about knowing your and your family's needs.  If you don't know who you and your family are than how can you expect to successfully take in a child with more needs and deal with it?  It is harder to access than you would think.  They talk about what children you are willing to take and what they have been through.  Did you know that 85% of Foster kids have been sexually abused?  85%!!!!  Did you know that if the parent takes classes they can get their kids back?  We learn a lot of things that are very hard to hear, there was one parent who would drown their child for discipline, the foster family got that child and tried to bathe him and I am sure you can imagine how that went.  There are 4 year olds that use the stove and knives because they have to cook for themselves.  These are the kids that we have said yes, we can help that girl, I am willing to put the time, energy and most of all love into that child to try my best and repair what her parents have done to her.  But along with that I have to also say that I will communicate with that parent, give visitations and maybe even eventually give that child back to that parent.  I have to truly just remember that that child is a child of God and she will remember that someone somewhere out there had loved her once and that maybe it will make a difference in that little one's life.  I need to stop talking, we have been to two meetings and I need to have something to say about the second one too LOL.  At the end of our first meeting I could genuinely say that I felt such a sense of peace and excitement for what we were doing.  They people in there really feel like like your teammates, I have learned so much from them already.  It is a pretty neat feeling.