Excitement

Now is when this blog gets exciting!  We had a mad rush to get licensed because we were getting an infant boy, we were out of town for a week and my awesome dad came down and did the home inspection for us.  Since the process went so long, we had to redo a bunch of things, we were pretty annoyed but very willing to do it.  So we get licensed and are waiting for this infant boy to be born any day now......and waiting......we rushed all of this for what again???  That baby had an older sister who was already with a foster family and that family wanted more time with her so they were going to have us take him for a few weeks.  They changed their minds and we are providing respite care for him for two weeks.  I will call him Little F, he is the sweetest little man ever, I will post some pictures.  He has such a sweet disposition and I am so grateful to have met the foster parents because they are pretty great too.  It is nice to have some friends that are doing the same thing we are.  I have had him this week and I will have him next week also.  It is nice for me because I still get my sleep. 

                                                above is two awesome ladies helping me out!!!  Thanks Merriam and Makela! 

                                                              above in Little F

Now on to our first real placement.  Baby J stole my heart right away.  I got an email from my worker that there had been a little 4 day old girl that she put my name in for, I was so excited!!  I got a call for a 4 day old boy and said yes.  So I didn't get a girl but got Baby J.  The worker called me and told me his name, that his mother did not want him, there was meth is his system and a very motivated father, but they needed to do a paternity test and a home study which would take about 2-3 weeks to complete.  She asked me then if I would be interested in adopting him if it did not line up with this guy.  I said absolutely!  At that point I kept telling myself not to get my hopes up, it couldn't happen that easily!  She also instructed me to take him to his Dr the next day.  So right away I got my hopes up (oops, I knew I said I would TRY not to but immediately failed) we enjoyed having him so much, we gave him a bath and snuggled with him.  The next day Little F came and now I had two infants and three boys to take care of, the whole day in all honesty was a blur.  I drug all 5 boys into a Dr. who did not want me there and kept asking why I had brought him in, and what the big rush was.  I told him I was doing what I was asked to do, end of story.  He barely looked at the baby and would not listen to any of the questions I asked or  acknowledge any concerns I had.  I went out to the car and wanted to scream.  Did he not think that it wasn't a huge sacrifice on my part taking a 2 year old, 5 year old, 8 year old, a two week old and 5 day old to the doctors office BY MYSELF!!!!!!!!  I sure hope he didn't feel too put out by that inconvenience of 10 mins of his time.  We get home, I put Blake down for a nap and reward Shane and Brock with a movie and popcorn for all of their help.  I take Little F and Baby J upstairs to collapse on my bed for feedings and changings.    Little F was so sweet, he was so wide awake and just looking at everything.  Baby J had been pretty fussy all day and just wanted to be held, so I spent a lot of time with him.  At about 4:00 I got the call saying that Baby J was going home with dad.  I was shocked, I thought it was supposed to take 2-3 weeks???   Well  it turns out that birth certificate is pretty important, if you sign it you have rights, so he took it to court and got the baby.  He is a truck driver that has been with his girlfriend for 6 years and she will be the main provider, apparently they were broken up when he slept with the meth addict.  When the worker came I tried really hard to not care and know that this is how it works but I was and still am crushed.  If I knew he was going to a good family that would raise him well it would have been different but this whole story just made me feel so uneasy.  I want him back so badly, so I try not to think about it and be grateful that I had him for a day.  Dan is just as upset as I am, this is the game though and we are now officially players.  I felt that the worker who dropped him off Tuesday was not telling me everything and she didn't and I need to approach this differently for now on.  I was so worried though that I would struggle loving them and that it would be harder because they weren't my own but nope, had no trouble in that area.  I instantly adored him.  Goodbye Baby J, I know you won't ever remember that day but I know I won;t ever forget it!!!